so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
