stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
