Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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