I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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