Farmville is her only friend.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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