That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize