Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
