How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
