We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
