i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she smelled like a LAN party
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize