That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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