SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
