drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
