You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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