make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
