i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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