16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Still dying that you shit outside
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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