Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
