She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
