You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
