dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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