I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He kissed a someone with a penis
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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