Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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