Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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