why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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