Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
