I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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