FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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