I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
