Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
