I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
