They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
