why didn't you poke me back
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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