Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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