Non-Jews are for practice
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
