for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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