hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
