remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
