Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
