hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
