your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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