It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
