chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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