You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
