I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
