Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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