i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
