just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize