dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
