I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
