I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
