My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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