Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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