I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
