she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
