I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
