3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
