he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
