bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
