Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
