I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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