we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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