What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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