in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
