my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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