Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
