You can't special order awesome
accomplished twins. life is a go
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
