I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
