You work out of a Hotel?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
