Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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